Two words

Fashion. Victim.

Note the Burberry visor, arm warmers (yeesh!), cropped (or just too short?) paints, etc. I don't even know where to start. To quote Chandler Bing, "Too...many...jokes..." Indeed.

This Dream is Brought to You by the Letter...

I had a dream last night that Ernie was supporting Barak Obama, while Bert was voting for John McCain. I'd always sort of thought Bert was the smart one, but, clearly, I was mistaken.

If only I could use this!

If only I could use this article as a references &/or student resource for the digital video & media course I'm writing right now. I KNOW the kids would love it, but am not sure sure about my editors and the teachers who'd have to deal with the ensuing "productions." I bet even Madge would get a kick out of seeing that vid!

One gas station island down, 5 to go

I'm still at it

A story, by Ethan

Part of Ethan's weekly homework is to write and illustrate a story. Here's today's tome.

My Lost Tooth

On April 6th, my tooth was loose.
I wiggled it and I wiggled it!
It did not come out.
It finally came out on April 10th.
Guess what?
I swallowed it!

Any literary or studio agents reading this, please contact me to begin negotiations for film and book rights ;-)

One comma down...

I need to start carrying a Sharpie marker with me, but a regular old black pen works just as well, I suppose. This morning, I struck back in the fight for proper punctuation. I may well find myself banned from the ARCO in Danville, CA, but it'll be worth it. You see, after I added the comma and put the pen away, I realized I should have gone "whole assed" (to quote Jamie Buchman from "Mad About You") and added a period at the end. I'm already plotting my next trip to the ARCO.

More notes from yo mamma...

So, I'm still addicted to the Postcards from Yo Mamma blog, and came across this one this afternoon:

The news is out! Dad bought me a Webkinz. It is reallly well designed and is the biggest craze I’ve seen in a long time.. It is comparable to the tamgachi and beani babies of your early youth. Every first grade through 5th grade student has one. They are awesome, yet a bit addicting.

I need your help. I can’t make enough money to feed my Webkinz. I have failed at three jobs so far. Please do not check my resume. My Webkinz has survived on pudding which is the sale item.

Please tap into my account and do something about it. Remember, I can get kicked off the site if not used appropriately. No mating of Webkinz. Any ways here is the information you will need.

www.webkinz.com
username #######
password #######
Thanks, Gotta go and make some real money.
Love,
Mom
P.S. Don”t give my password away………seriously

LOL! As someone who spends waaaay too much time at the site (thank you Ethan!), I really feel for this woman and her pudding-eating Webkin. If only I knew the username and password, I'd log in and win her some KinzCash...

Yo Momma...

This has got to be the funniest blog I've come across in a long time. The entry below is my fav (so far)

APRIL 2, 2008
Convent internship

Thanks for your note. How coincidental that just this morning we have just completed the application process for [xxx]’s entry into the 5 yr. convent internship program, conveniently located adjacent the main gate at Ft. Knox, Kentucky.

Having the Army so nearby gives the sisters that added sense of security.

I am sure she’ll be in touch once the 2 year seclusion period passes.

love,
mom