Total crap!

I'm attempting to grade students' outlines for their final papers, but am finding it more challenging that I'd like. Why, you may ask? Because I get crap like this:

English in America was the first language to speak by the British

This was followed by:

The language between English and the British are different in a way but, their minor

Oy.

How spam could be more effective

My "real" job's email account has been overloaded with spam for the past 2-3 weeks, and no one at the school seems to be interested in installing a spam filter to help the poor, beleaguered faculty escape it. Some came in yesterday with the obviously porny subject line "Me and my roommate . . ." I would be more inclined to open these if the subject lines were grammatically correct: "My roommate and I . . ." You know what writing teachers are like!

Scary, but true

Some of my classes had rough drafts of their final papers due last week. ONe student didn't submit hers, so I sent her a note reminding her it was due (something I am required to do, but really loathe). So, she wrote back with a list of "updated labor law poster kits" contents. Her paper is not on labor law.

What is this, Student? I asked.

I don't know, she replied.

WTF? Who submits something when they don't even know what it is?

And she wonders why she isn't passing my class.

From scarf to shining sea

The need to have a dress code at schools is a national issue for what I had found is a very important issue in the different school of our nation, from coats to coast.

Yes, it's grading time again! Oy.

Oh, the irony

Yesterday, I received a note from a student telling me she'd be unable to complete her (past-due) assignment for a while, as her computer had been confiscated by her state's Board of Probations and Paroles. Today, she has posted a very nice, albeit self-righteous, comment to our discussion of plagiarism, in which she says it all comes down to honesty. It's dishonest to plagiarize, and, because she is a very honest person, she never has to worry about plagiarism. The next thing you know, she'll tell us what a "good Christian" she is. Christians are fine, but we have to watch out for the "good" ones - it seems they are always the ones I catch doing something dishonest.

More wisdom...

The typical teen in this day in age wears cloths that do not fit. Their pants half way hanging on their but and they walk bowl lagged even though nine out of ten they were not born that nor do they have a disorder. That is the prime example, they like disorder.

Can you guess the topic of the paper in which the above appeared?

Oh my... Can you tell I'm grading finals?

I know I'm making a difference! ;-)

I have two writing classes in their last week right now. For one class, it's gone well, but the other has really struggled. it amazes me how much each class has its own personality - I have def. seen the "birds of a feather flock together" phenomenon (both for good and bad) at work in my classes! Anyhow, one of the things I do at the end of each course is ask some general review questions, like "what was your favorite assignment," "what do you know now that you wish you'd known then," etc. This morning, I got the following reply (from a struggler, as you can imagine).

What I liked most about the main class assignment was typing. I love to type although I advice the new comer's not to type too much and drop off the subject of what they are doing.

It's so nice to know I'm making a difference ;-)

All the y'alls

It's a good thing we are moving out of the South soon. Today I actually came across this referenced in one of my students' homework.

YA'LL/Y'ALL

"How y'all doin'?" If you are rendering this common Southernism in
print, be careful where you place the apostrophe, which stands for the
second and third letters in "you." Note that "y'all" stands for "you
all" and is properly a plural form, though many southern speakers treat
it as a singular form and resort to "all y'all" for the plural.

(from Common Errors in English by Paul Brians).

For the record, I do not, have never, and will never say "y'all." I am firmly in the "you guys" camp.

Red Nose Day

Mad props to Liz for sending me this clip. It's a great clip for Comic Relief 2007/Red Nose Day, which was this past Friday.

Early St Pat's

A friend reminded me this morning of this oldie but goodie from The Onion.

What will you be eating or drinking to celebrate this weekend?

Excuse of the Day

Student excuse for late work of the day:

Sorry this is late, my son was sick then I got married so I fell a litle behind. Hope this is okay.

Yeah, I just hate it when that sort of stuff happens all at once.

On the inside, I'm saying this

Here's what I would love to say so many times, as i grade student papers. (And no, I am not Billy in this scenario!)

More wisdom...

Health care plans are like mirrors, the glass is smooth easily able to see in, but once cracked it is no longer properly able to do its job

Later, in the same paper:

Simply put, we need to be in control of the escalating costs of health care that relinquish millions of people that have the need for health care

and

The expansion of carelessness in our conventional health care system is highly proficiently than numerous human beings can figure out.

Another paper said:

they may have the desire to learn another language and become bilingual in several foreign languages

Teletubbies do what?!?

Im grading finals - beware. So far today I have learned this - and as you know, you just can't make this stuff up!

The media and television broadcasting of women is not all negative. And example of women portrayed because of their gender is the Teletubbies it shows a definitive way the female are supposed to act.

You wanna know what kills me about this? The paper was plagiarized. Not just one person thought this fit to write and send out into the world, but apparently 2+ did. It can be yours, too, for the low, low price of $14.95. Oy.


NEW: Depression can affect someone’s concentration, social life, and most importantly their life.

No wonder!

No wonder my students are the shining stars they are...

This is a screenshot taken from my campus emai accountl - click on the pic to see it better.

Calgon, take me away!

My parents told me that if the bus company that when bankrupted don’t reimburse us that they will help us raise the money some how. Sense this horrible incident happen I been doing all I can and is trying to get us on that trip with out know more money out of our pock,

Can you tell it's grading time again? (rolling eyes)